Englewood Tent City - Million dollar construction nearing completion

NEWS ALERT: (Update 2:20 p.m. 8/28/09) The Englewood, New Jersey estate, owned by the Libyan terrorist state, was an unimproved eye sore, until two weeks ago.  Construction since then has been almost non-stop, day and night, getting the premises ready for accommodating the still humble, Colonel Khadafy (40 years in power and he still hasn't made General) during his impending UN visit in September.  Because of Khadafy's well known, even famous parsimony, (He does live in a used tent), the commencement of these expensive housing preparations compels but one conclusion - The State Department's already issued visa authorizes Khadafy to travel from New York to the Garden State, where he has planted such poisonous roots.

ELITE MEMBER bonus - Should you be reading this item, then your Elite status has been automatically renewed.  Congratulations, you are now eligible to enter the Ali Mohmed Death Panel Prostate Cancer Date of Passing Lottery - choose three months (and he dies in 90 days) get Life Time Free Elite Membership; choose six months (dies 180 days) get two year free renewal; choose nine months (dies in 270) get free pre-natal care for first born grandchild; choose twelve months and get a free weekend in New Jersey; choose more than twelve months get a free vacation in Tripoli, Libya tent included.  Entries must be received by September 12th.

Why is it always New Jersey? Or, don't cry for Me Englewood

Credible reports (their credibility flowing inevitably from their consistency with my belief system) report that the single Scottish Doctor who examined Pan Am bomber Abdel Base Ali Mohmed al-Megtahi was the current Chairman of Great Britain's National Health System End of Life Counseling Board.  Commentators have asserted that this government bureaucrat thinks that the majority of individuals he evaluates have but three months or less to live.   Chairman Orwell stated that no further care would be budgeted for Ali Mohmed, because he had no prospects again to contribute productively to western society, did not have any income while requiring significant government services 24/7 365 days a year.

Therefore, Ali Mohmed was flown back to Libya for a heroes welcome on a Libyian National Airlines, Boeing 747 commercial airliner - no irony there. 

Our President has an opportunity to show meaningful moral leadership to the entire very much watching world - Yes, give Khadafy his UN visa (required by treaty), but limit his travel to Manhattan only.  Jersey is home to families of some thirty plus Lockerbie  victims.  What possible reason would exist to grant special treatment to this murderous terrorist? 

No Honor among Thieves or Criminal (defense) Lawyers

Despite being within a short walk of the Kennedy Hyannis compound, the Chosen One apparently was too busy conferencing with his Attorney General regarding the appointment of a Special Prosecutor to investigate CIA officers for engaging in "harsh" interrogation techniques on mass murders to visit the ailing last brother.  Golfing too, but that's worthy.

To my mind, the simulated shooting of a terrorist in the next interrogation room (by firing a blank round w/n. ear shot of the terrorist being questioned, followed by the CIA questioner yelling out to the shooter: "Hey, save a bullet, he wouldn't talk and his time is about up") is

not torture.  Mental cruelty, by scaring a terrorist w/. threats never carried out, is surely mean and even unseemly.  (Burning to death thousands in the World Trade Center towers is beyond words, and to prevent future attacks, I expect  the CIA to deal harshly with the responsible terrorists.)  It is not prohibited by any US statute or international treaty, however.

What is a federal felony is the disclosure of the identities of CIA covert operatives, e.g. Valerie Plame.  Now, we learn that ACLU lawyers for these same terrorists showed them photos of CIA agents, in hopes of identifying these covert operatives for use at upcoming trials where their names would have to become public.  

I await the Commander in Chief's announcement of the appointment of a Special Prosecutor to investigate these egregious violations of the Intelligence Identities Protection Act of 1982.

CC Rule 2947: Timing is Every Thing

In deference to Code of Conduct Rule 1473, let just say: Edward Moore Kennedy R.I.P. and thank you for such a timely reminder not to put off until tomorrow, what is best done right away.

Open Mike Update - Errata sheet on Floating Bubbles

This opinion Column, still awaiting... Sorry, you already know syndication status.

What needs to be clarified, however, is that Code of Conduct Rule 1471 mandates that whenever a greater truth is illustrated thru a hyperbolically exaggerated spoof (hyperbole) or an thru an out and out false statement, that this use of parody must be absolutely clear by the context or thru explicit identification of the particular truthful falsehood as being a "Parody".

So, in a strict constructionist application of CC 1471, Ted's dog is not really named Floating Bubbles.  Actually, his dog is called "Splash" - literal truth. 

"Open Mike day": First Listener Request Fulfilled

This Opinion Column, still awaiting syndication through MSM outlets, operates on a number of inflexible and rigorously enforced standards of journalistic ethics.

Rule number 1473 in the "Onsdorffersphere Code of Conduct" is to never speak ill of the dead. The terminally ill, however, better watch out, as we will not suffer fools gladly here.  In this vein, I definitely suggest that Ted Kennedy try to keep his head above the water line, which in his situation is way to close to the Mendoza Line.

First he names his new dog "Floating Bubbles", then he recuses himself full time from all Senatorial duties for the last five (5) months, while hiding from the Grim Reaper.  All well and good for him, but what about his constituents who elected him to stand tall for their interests in the Congress?

I kid you not, Ted weighed in on this serious issue in a letter to the Governor late last week, saying that upon his departure from his Senate seat, the critically important issues now confronting our Republic were too pressing to wait 5 months for a special election to be held to fill this "soon" to occur vacancy.  

Apparently, no one on the de facto former senator's staff told him of the irony of his wanting a working Senator appointed the minute he leaves Mass. high and dry yet again.

Yankees Make Meatloaf out of Bloody Soxes

As you know, two out of three ain't bad:

                                            Jeter - 1

                                              

                                                Cano - 1

                                           A -Rotten - 1

                                             Godzilla - 2

Beckett, Oh my.

Hooray: A Just Deity definitely does Exist, and is Very Smart

She apparently decided that waiting on Favre might be too slow and painful to watch, such that we mortals would see this egomaniac demise as of questionable dignity.

Accordingly, She determined instead to immediately smite the biggest Egomaniac, not named your humble Blogger, Jerry Jones.  JJ as he is called, just built the most expensive sports arena in world history, costing more than 1.2 billion dollars.

Nonetheless, the Stadium is so poorly designed that several hundred million dollars more will be needed to be spent to move the sideline video jumbo trons, which currently are being hit by every third punt kicked from between the 20 to 30 yard lines. 

Now, that is divine intervention at its best, as the Evil actually do get punished.

Go JINTS, and stay thirsty my friends.

Afghanistan: Graveyard of Empires for 3000 years

I am shocked and amazed by the complete absence of vocal opposition to the US occupation of Afghanistan by our armed forces.  As you will recall, the lefties decried the war in Iraq, calling it unwinable  and a unconscionable waste of national treasure and spilled blood of innocents.

Leaving aside the validity of these Iraq anti-war sediments, the silence on the war in Afghanistan is truly deafening.  Accordingly, with the lefties apparently cowed by the Messiah, it falls to me, Ok, and Ralph Peters and me, to demand an end to the ongoing Madness.  Let's be clear here - we will never build a reliable national army or national police force in Afg. because there is NO NATION of AFGHANISTAN.  There are only warring tribes infused by century old blood fueds.

Nonetheless, we can still accomplish our national security objectives w/. a small in-country Delta Force and sufficient number of Predator drones.  Preventing Afg. from again being a safe haven for terrorists does not entail making Afg. a stable 21st Century democracy.  Nor do we need to bomb it back to the Stone Age, it is there already.  We should have learned the Soviet invasion lesson - Afghans live to fight foreigners and exault in dying for this jihadist cause.

War is Peace forever in Afghanistan. So, the right time to leave is definitely now.      

Dwight D. Eisenhower was no Abe Lincoln

Nor was he Mr. Republican, Robert Taft of Ohio, but that is an expo faxto issue better left to the glimmering mists of the most obscure historians.  Think no Victors' Justice as your key words if you want to unlock this mystery of Taft's world view.

Now, I remember Ike's speeches, and to be kind, he was no JFK in using the bully pulpit as the leader of Free World to garner public support for his country's causes - defeat of the Russian communists' drive toward world domination, and an interstate highway for every Congressional District.  Yes, they were BIG issues that IKE took on in his presidency.  Indeed, he saved us, while bestowing upon the nation, Richard Milhous Nixon.

Despite Tricky Dick,  Ike was foremost a historically gifted manger and executive - he designed, organized and managed the single largest human undertaking in history, the D-Day invasion of Europe.  He mobilized more than two million armed service personnel and put them on ships and planes on June 5, 1944, and then agonized for more than 14 hours over whether the weather was good enuff to launch this armada.  With multitudes of generals and admirals demanding his decision, Ike vowed he would "never rush into making a mistake" with so many lives at stake. Think Obama care.  What would President Eisenhower advise his successor with 300 million lives at stake?

Yes Virginia, there may be a God(dess)

Due to extended pro bono junket to "HotLanta", Georgia, there has been a short hiatus in publication intervals, but trust me, your anxious waiting has been worthwhile - since Sunday, the there have been several existential demonstrations of the existence of a Just Deity.

         * Y. E. Yang an eastern prophet, followed his Star westward to bring the world news of  salvation from the Eye of the Tiger;

           *Bret, the Crying Man, Favre followed his Star northward to bring the world news of his own resurrection, coupled with his intent to nail the Pack to a cross of pig skin, not once, but twice, before the cock crows thrice.  His upcoming re-burial will be a tru sign;

            *Ely, the Silent, spoke volumes in inking a five year contract extension with the JINTS, giving Big Blue the keys to the Kingdom forever more;

            So, keep the faith my friends, stay thirsty and buy more GOLD. 

 

Where Eagles Dare to Go, and Broncos Roam Alone

Eagles coach, Andy Reid, explained that his team would be markedly improved with the addition of Michael Vick.  Observing that his offense often seemed listless and lacked fire in 2009, Reid said that Vick gives them the missing "Killer Instinct" when he goes into a game to replace "girlie-man" Donavan McNabb.

Reid ended his endorsement by pointing out that he likes criminals, having two sons who now are serving out their prison sentences working in the Eagles locker room, so what's one more goon with blood on his conscience.  It should be neat for team chemistry.

Further west, Denver Broncos fans have now turned their lonely eyes to Chris Simms, as it turns out that Kyle Orton is actually Bubby Brister in drag.

It is a good year to be a JINT, Go Big Blue.

A Rising Tide Lifts all Boats, until the ChiComs Pull the Plug

In 1970, as an idealistic student of American Government, writing my junior year thesis, entitled : "Congressional Oversight of Weapons Systems Acquisition by DoD", I noted that the annual federal executive branch budget of 200 billion dollars was skewed toward unreliable and unproven weapon systems that Generals and Admirals demanded, irrespective of growing federal deficits.  

              Yes, I was a fiscal conservative even then.  National defense was and always will be the first obligation of our federal officials, but that utmost responsibility makes it even more important that procurement be done intelligently.

             I burden you with this background only as a point of reference to the current out of control federal fiscal policies - last month's 30 day deficit spending exceeded all federal government expenditures for all of 1970.  We will run a 1.2 trillion dollar deficit this year.  That amount of borrowing is clearly unsustainable.

               Today, the recession might well be easing, due to the government's hemorrhaging of paper money (literally printed by the Treasury and shipped to the Federal Reserve to buy Treasury bonds).  Nonetheless, this illusory return of prosperity will evaporate quicker than the morning due in July, once our foreign borrowers see the buying power of their US dollar investment crash and burn, as the world economy is saturated with hundreds of billions more U.S. dollars than these currency markets can accomodate without a massive devaluation of the dollar/world currencies conversion rates.  

So, I say to you: Stay thirsty my friends, and buy gold now.  

Don't go gently into the Night

Two universal and unassailable principles which must be applied by all informed citizens to the ongoing health care debate:

 (1) "Affordable Heath Care" for all people is not a moral imperative, nor a fundamental human right.  The Constitution enshrines as our God given rights - Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness;  not employment, not a home, not a free car (ok, up to $4,500. toward one), not a country club membership, nor a free college education.

(2) We are only assured freedom - the opportunity to achieve whatever material goals to which we aspire, and our talent, work ethic and family connections enable us to earn.  Any "reforms" promising affordable public health care for an additional 50 million people, including illegal aliens, w/. lower costs for everyone, including the destitute, w/. no slower delivery of services (but w/o. additional tens of thousands of doctors) requires us to demand loudly how the same federal government, which has never delivered any social  program "on time or on budget", can so easily dismiss the immutable law of economics - more purchasers for the same amount of goods increases costs.  So please ask your Congress persons: "A trillion more dollars for government health insurance is affordable to whom, exactly?"

Andy Pettitte and Phil Coke

Baseball lives for its stats, which is why the steroids use by players hurts and angers baseball fans, while positive drug tests for NFL thugs result in only yawns of indifference.

So, it is incredible to see the following in yesterday's box score for the Yanks/Soxes:

             Pettitte: IP7, H5, R0, ER0, BB0, S4  -  No decision

              Coke:     IP1, H3, R2, ER2, BB0,  S1  - Winning Pitcher

Go figure.     

Yankees Rule

... Bloody sox drool.  Oh, how the worm turns!  reported on ESPN earlier today - Sox gives work outs to new pitching prospects Jim Kaat, Jim Bunning and Sandy Koufax.  More expected soon.